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One Of Those [22 Aug 2006|05:25pm] Have you ever had one of those nights where you get drunk... and the next day you have a black eye? no i did... and i dont know how.... *side note* Your fucking amazing 1 comment|post comment

5 months and 19 days. [19 Jul 2006|09:54pm] Sometimes i worry to much... I think its cos i care to much... I just love you... I really do... I hope I make you happy... post comment

... [13 Mar 2006|11:50pm] I just got the nicest msg in the world... i think im falling in love with you... 3 comments|post comment

B.A [21 Feb 2006|10:39am] [ mood | content ] So i have sometime to fill in whats been happening over the past few whirlwind weeks... Last week was mez's 21st birthday partayy and it was quite a pleasent evening, it was good to see mez so happy around her family and friends, so many different people. Was such a crazy night. I was worried about my gifts for her haha didn't know if she would like them but i guess her reaction was a good sign that she did! Ahh yes it was also a good chance for me to catch up with some people i hadn't seen in a while and it all worked out well. Overall a pleasent evening, i also wish i had done a better speech... Im still working for the man at officeworks, its been a bit crazy there lately. Not as many people being put on for shifts makes it a strain on us when we have to deal with angry people who have to wait to be served... it pisses me off. But im really enjoying the staff i work with all such friendly people and im happy there, minus a few things of course... Ahh i finally have things sorted out with the most amazing person. Im so happy, and for some reason it feels like everything is falling into place now that i have this sorted out. Ive got my mind stright and my goals set and right now im loving everyday. She is so special.. 5 comments|post comment

The Reason.... [30 Jan 2006|09:55pm] [ mood | anxious ] Update: So it would seem that all the troubles have once again come back to you. For some reason my happiness right now needs your permission for some stupid reason. Why does this happen? Can't everything move on from this pathetic moment in time that now haunts me... Dear You, I just want you to know how happy you have made me over the past month. Ive learnt to feel this way again and its something i haven't felt in such a long time... its very special. Not many people can make me feel better just by their voice... but you do. I can honestly say every moment i have spent with you has left me smiling. I still do smile. Everytime i go past your town i look to see if your there... even though i know you're not there, its just a nice thought that you would be, because everytime im at that place its to see you... your so very special to me.. i want to be with you.... i just wish things could be easier... just know i have all the time in the world for you... love Me So ive been working at officeworks for almost a month now. Finally got my head around things and im into a routine now. Im hoping to get closer to the city in the next month or so then ill be back on track. Right now im a bit confused and in a daze, very tired from work... but im hoping things will get better later this week... i need this... 3 comments|post comment

dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnunnnnn *evil stare* [03 Jan 2006|11:08pm] [ mood | nervous ] Ahhh a new year. I was gonna write a massive year in review but i got sick of it so here it is in short and dot points.... Good metting amazing new people seeing many international amazing bands trivia new drums realising something special family completing traineeship beer Mez badness Internet blog wars Fights Among Friends Hurting people Vodka Losing people Cheaters Money Ex-girlfriends so thats the end of that year that was 2005. Now onto what has been happening lately.... Ive started work at officeworks in Fitzroy as a checkout chick haha and i work with my good friend Joe. So far i have seemed to get my head around things and im starting to enjoy it a little. Its a good change from working in office administration and just trying something different and meeting new people. One of my goals for this year was to get out and try to do something different for a change get out of this rut i am in and just get out there and see what else is on offer in this city as well as job wise. The atmosphere at this place is so friendly and welcoming which is alot different from what i had at my office job. Im still leaving with Mez and it is very lovely. The train to work is not so bad, although there are some creepy people around this area hahaah. but i have enjoyed my time here but i can't wait to get a place of my own again. Lately ive wanted to live in a apartment of sorts by myself or maybe with just one other person but yes i really want to try something different other than the shared house enviroment as at times is very hard to deal with. my new years as predicted was not so great. Pretty lame went to switch and just got really bummed out and i really wasnt in the mood, wishing i was some place else with someone else... bah... next year will be better.. Team falls!!! Last few weeks have been great. Watching dvds and just talking for hours about just stuff is so amazing. I don't want it to end. Ive let my guard down completly with this, and im a bit scared... but i guess if you dont take chances these things will never work out in the end. I think that now more time has past and we have grown even closer than we have ever been and it is just a queston of time and circumstances to see what happens next... but it is worth that wait.... anyways im sick of writing for now.... will update again oneday soon... 4 comments|post comment

2 days!! [23 Dec 2005|06:16pm] [ mood | cheerful ] Wahooo 2 days till christmas! Ahh yes im having a lovely few days. I have learnt over the last few days that some things are worth waiting for in the end. Watching movies has never been so comfortable... 1 comment|post comment

47 [25 Nov 2005|10:26pm] [ mood | thankful ] yes 47 what a number... anyways now that we have discussed that onto other things. I have left the beloved 22 home in richmond and have moved into the wonderful home or werribee in which mez and her family occupies. Im so grateful for everything that has happened over the past few weeks, more so that mez and her family has taken me in when i've needed somewhere to live. Also there might be someone new in my life.. dunno how it will all go but i guess these things have a way of working out and they always do. next week i become an adult..... 5 comments|post comment

mindness [02 Nov 2005|12:08am] [ mood | cranky ] 1 MINUTE AGO: Was talking on msn listening to hidden in plain view 1 HOUR AGO: Was down on the river dock drinking my coke and thinking about everything 1 DAY AGO: was drinking with rob, luke, pete, tilt and dave. Went to plastic with luke and rob. Saw you again.... 1 YEAR AGO: Moved to richmond, starting my traineeship, becoming single. I LOVE: falling in love, hugs, long talks, wrestling... music I HATE: drama, fakes, liers. I FEAR: Being alone. I HOPE: Everything will work out in the end. I FEEL: Like shit. I HIDE: Away in my room. I DRIVE: pffft no i dont. I MISS: me I LEARN: Everyday I NEED: To try and be happy I THINK: I need to get a grip FIRSTS.. First screen name: ronaldoportello First piercing/tattoo: lip First credit card: none only a bank card. First enemy: Everyone knows who and why it is them First concert: Vans warped tour 2001 First musician you remember hearing in your house: Dire Strights LASTS.. Last big car ride: Today Last kiss: Last night... Last movie seen: Family guy Last food consumed: Steak and salad Last phone call: Luke Last CD played: Drumming Mix Last drink drank: Water Last time scolded: prolli tonight actually SHORT ANSWER.. I AM: Not myself last few days I WANT: To be happy, and for everything to work out right. I HAVE: nothing really. I WISH: wishing gets you no where I HATE: Same shit happens even a year later... I WONDER: whats happened. I ALWAYS: Eat. And am online I DANCE: To pop music all the time I SING: in my room, and at karaoke parties I CRY: when everything builds up inside and I can't keep it in anymore. I AM NOT ALWAYS: Happy I WRITE: right now. I WIN: xbox. I LOSE: too much I CONFUSE: myself. I SHOULD: go on a holiday FAVORITES.. NUMBER: 7 COLOR(S): blue DAYS: any really its all the same to me MONTH: November/december SONG(S): Twenty Below SEASON: Summer/Spring DRINK: ehh IN THE LAST 2 DAYS, HAVE YOU... CRIED? Almost HELPED SOMEONE? yes GOTTEN SICK? nope GONE TO THE MOVIES? Nope SAID 'i love you'?: No WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: No TALKED TO AN EX?: Nope MISSED AN EX?: not at all WRITTEN IN A DIARY?: yes HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: sure have HUGGED SOMEONE?: yes post comment

Awesome [29 Oct 2005|11:34pm] Tonight i had the best night ever. I went out by myself cos i needed sometime to myself, so i decided after the pay out from work to treat myself to WWE. Yes it was fuckin unbelievable. john cena and HBK. my god. fuck yeah. 1 comment|post comment

[19 Oct 2005|04:04pm] [ mood | total ] I think your great, I shouldn't tell you this cos it might cause trouble. well i think it will..... 6 comments|post comment

today [16 Oct 2005|01:40pm] [ mood | ditzy ] i think today will define everything.... 1 comment|post comment

Everyday I wish I could... [20 Sep 2005|10:50am] [ mood | thoughtful ] yes well i havent wrote in my blog for a little while, well i have just hasnt been anything long as such. But as i am at work and very bored and last night i was way to tired to write anything, today is the day i write down some shit thats going on with me. Well my job ends in about a months time so if i don't find anything im pretty much screwed. I may even have to move back to maffra due to lack of funds. But its ok i think, i have a trial at a retail place tommorow so hopefully ill be awesome at that and they will offer me a job. I think i would enjoy working ina place like that, getting all these different people coming and going, be social, i think it would be good fun but also alot of work. But i guess ill find out tommorow at the trial..... Yeah so ive discovered lately that im not afraid anymore to tell someone how i feel. I use to keep it to myself and well i think that if you do that you miss out on something could b truely amazing. I guess after Alice, i had the idea that she was perfect for me. She was the only one that could ever be for me, thats what i thought because it was the only experince i have ever had. But after meeting new people and actually staying single for a year i can tell what feels real and what feels like its just a bit of fun. The difference is you have to tell the person and not lead them on. I guess that hardest things has been the searching and the constant empty feeling at the end of everything. Alot of people have come and gone in my life over the past years, Saturday night was a bit of a reality check for me in some ways. Seeing everyone i have been with over the past year or so in the one place with different people and not even aknowledging that you existed in their lives kinda sucks. Kinda just made me realise that ha, well ronaldo you really are alone aren't you.. but then again im not. I have the best group of friends in the world, they are true to me and more impotantly, to themselves. They are always there for me when i need them and thats what friends are for...not popularity. I could of had many things but what i want is something that is real and i know its real, not a fling that just ends after a few months. Something that you just know is right and everything just clicks into place. I have only ever felt this once, and its with someone ive never been with. But as soon as i met them 2 years ago and i still remember when i did. The instant connection with someone and the well i guess, "spark", you feel when you meet someone and you just know then and there thats who it is. It's always been in the back of my mind i guess... the chats we always have, the way we are able to tell each other anything, and always seem to make each other smile at our lowest points when we are down the most. And after my party i just havent stopped thinking about her. She is always on my mind, what happened at the party well i dunno what it was, but it made me realise that thats what i have always wanted and wanted to give her. Happiness. The ability to be proud of who she is and be able to do what she wants and not be insulted or put down for it. Right now things are to complicated. But for this... I have all the time in the world..... 3 comments|post comment

[17 Sep 2005|10:02am] I get my hair cut today. This will be interesting.... haha :P 1 comment|post comment

its a rule. [15 Sep 2005|08:53am] reply with your name and i'll: 01. respond with something random about you. 02. tell you what song/movie reminds me of you. 03. tell you something I hate about you. 04. say something that only makes sense to you and me. 05. tell you my first memory of you. 06. tell you what animal you remind me of. 07. ask you something that i've always wondered about you. 08. and! if i do this for you, you must post this on your journal. word. 7 comments|post comment

Opppps [14 Sep 2005|04:12pm] [ mood | cheerful ] The past 2 days you have made me smile. I dunno how you do it. but you do. 4 comments|post comment

Take this Stupid Heart [11 Sep 2005|09:04pm] [ mood | moody ] Hmm yes well i feel like writing so i figure why not write into my journal hey.. Im in a very weird mood after this weekend, I feel like im gonna snap at any moment, but the thing is ive got nothing to be angry or annoyed at. Im just in this weird state of mind at the moment. I guess this weekend i figured out some well pretty full on stuff for me anyway, I guess i just realised things I didnt want myself to admit to, and now that i have admitted to the way that i feel about her things at the moment its been especially hard to take in. Im feeling quiet stupid once again. There seems to be a trend of me meeting new people and either i go yes this person is worth giving a shot, then when i decide that something goes wrong. This is probly not the case. But in my eyes everytime i find someone worth opening up to it is either a) impossible for anything to happen b) they are already involved or were just coming out of something. I think i just have the worst timing in the world when it comes to this stuff, but the time they spend with me they thank me for being so kind and understanding. It seems to be always the case that if i do fall i will fall hard, and when i fall its to the people who have their own safety net or they just need someone who listens to what they have to say, and i seem to get picked. The other side is when i just start something with someone and before it even begins i turn away because im still worried about the first side of my problem. Ive meet some awesome people but none of them have the "spark" i guess what im looking for. My mind is always ticking. And I just want for once for something to go right or i want to be given chance to show someone what its like to be treated right and make someone smile again. This weekend i have heard problems left right and centre from people who are unhappy with their current situation or current realationship. I have no problems with being the shoulder to cry on and or the guy that gets asked for advice. By all means you have a problem and come up and ask me i will no doubt have an opinion of the situation. But I cant always have the answers you seek. They are within youself and i think you know the answers already. I just find it hard to believe that people who are in realationships and are unhappy, this has been one main topic of main discussion this weekend with a few people. Sometimes you have to be selfish and do whats best for you. It hurts at first but time heals all wounds and trust me it does get easier over time. Even though she hasnt been gone very long ive missed being able to call mez and talk to her about stuff, like its weird goin from calling someone pretty much every night to not at all. Im sure she is having a blast and I hope you are mez you deserve a good break from all the shit that happens around here. So this is pretty much the end of my emo entry im just in a weird state of mind. Its not that I need someone im quiet happy most of the time. Just recently I felt what its like to feel something special and have it infront of you... only to have it disappear again... that feeling just sucks... but hey... whats bad timing for hey... 6 comments|post comment

Number 2312 of the year [10 Sep 2005|02:00am] [ mood | confused ] running on 4 hours sleep... hmmm why ever would you still be awake on a friday night ronaldo, your stupid messed up head thats why. Everytime you think you have found someone something worth giving a chance and or thinking this time you might be right.. you back off. Why this time? She's a great girl and she is alot of fun. The only problem is that you don't feel 'it'. And 'it' is what you need and what you are looking for. Sure tonight was fun, im not gonna say i didnt enjoy myself, because i had a great time getting to know someone. But you held back because it just wasnt there was it... no... How do you know? The whole time you were thinking about someone something else, and the reason why... because they are the only thing that you have felt anything close to 'it', and the only thing that had seemed felt perfect right. She is the one thing that has brought a smile to your face when you have been ever so down. Your the one person that makes her smile anytime she see's you and talks to you. When you hug you both dont ever want to let go because it feels so right safe. She knows how you feel about her, you know how she feels about you... whats the problem... Im so good at bad timing.... post comment

Your Crane Is No Match For My KARAOKE! [05 Sep 2005|11:19am] [ mood | giddy ] Ahhh what a weekend that has just gone past. It reall was one of the best parties ive ever thrown and even been apart of. It was just a great feeling hangingout with old friends and rocking the mic with some classic karaoke hits. ( Warning Alot of pics ) All in all one of the best nights in a long time. Thanks to everyone who came hope u enjoied it as much as i did :) P.s missing mez. 8 comments|post comment

Time OuT! [02 Sep 2005|10:33am] [ mood | dorky ] Once again so very bored at work so its time for a journal entry. So ive decided i really have to stop wondering off when im drunk i miss out on alot of action, some of wish im glad i missed but still in the same would of made the night a little more interesting. I lost rob(andy) early on in the night after a drunken game of pool, and he was quiet intoxicated at this time, even though it was only 9pm. Myself, haha i had not yet reached the stage of ronaldo drunkeness i was more placid and laid back for a while even though i did do the jager bomb from hell which pretty much burnt my throat. Most of my night is pretty blurred after that I didn't get home until 4am cos i wasnt allowed to leave apperently i had been 'kidnapped' and had to stay put. So i found out today tilt got into a fight sorta. Makes me feel bad cos i wasnt there for him, but then again i didnt know where any of my friends were last night. I saw them all in brief stages throughout the night. Some drunker than others and some sober and bored, which seems to be the case if you go to next sober. I dunno some people just to refuse to have fun even if they dont drink. I remember hanging out at the DJ booth for a while with hardcore Mark ripping up the screamo haha. I realised last night that i really dont like the used or my chemical romance... i dunno they just don't do it for me i guess. maybe its just those songs im over haha ahh well. man im rambling. Onto drunken text messages. hahah so i sent linzy a text message last night... do i remember... no. hahah. Party tommorow night im kinda nervous as to who will show but whatever the case ill be singing my heart out to great tunes. awesome. Im out Peace Naldo 1 comment|post comment

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